It is not good to be alone

It is not good to be alone

Ecclesiastes 4 verses 1 to 12, Genesis 24 and Genesis 2 verses1 to 25

This is a new section of Genesis.

God made us to have personal relationships
‘It is not good for man to be alone’, this is the first thing in creation to be called ‘not good’ – everything else was perfect. The man needed someone to be a compliment to him – a friend, a helper as there is companionship in the Godhead.
a) Adam, the representative man was made with an inbuilt need for personal friendship and a close relationship.
There is a breakdown in marriage in modern society, there is also a breakdown of close ties causing isolation and loneliness caused by modern life. It has become a ‘me world’, abandoning family ties. Community is seen as being of no consequence.
Isolation can be very harmful, even dangerous. It is caused by many things such as a lack of social skills, rejection etc. It leads to an unbalanced personality.
Some people are workaholics and have only fleeting friendships. Interpersonal relationships are normal and healthy. Some need to work at being friendly and belonging, especially in the body of Christ. We need to work at this and make an effort to talk to people.
Marriage is God’s chief answer to human loneliness, but it isn’t the only answer, everyone spends some years being single, and some are called to remain single. When we are single it can be caused by the death of a loved one. We all need companionship. The body of Christ is a family that in many ways transcends our earthly family. To be single is not to deny your natural feminine or masculine qualities. We should be thankful for our friendships and family. We, like God, should care for those who are single or lonely through no fault of their own.
Adam looked at the animals and realised they couldn’t talk and discuss things with or confide in. They could not meet his psychological, spiritual or emotional needs. There is no kinship between men and animals. If darwinianism is true, he may have found company with apes – he did not.
God was preparing Adam to have a gnawing hunger for a life partner. We can put off marriage until much later in life and miss out on marriage if we are not careful. Men can be so picky, wimpish or fussy that they do not choose a partner.
b) Adam discovered animals were not a substitute for a person – verse 19
Adam looked at the animals and realised they couldn’t talk and discuss things with or confide in. They could not meet his psychological, spiritual or emotional needs. There is no kinship between men and animals. If darwinianism is true, he may have found company with apes – he did not.
God was preparing Adam to have a gnawing hunger for a life partner. We can put off marriage until much later in life and miss out on marriage if we are not careful. Men can be so picky, wimpish or fussy that they do not choose a partner.

God made us to be man and wife.
a) Adam discovered other men or animals were not a substitute for a wife.
We are not made to love other men or animals or woman after woman. Men are made to one woman and vice versa. The answer to man’s loneliness is one woman. As he named animals God was teaching him to be a leader and preparing him to be a lover.
b) Adam discovered that he needed a wife to complement him – verse 18
Adam saw animals two by two, he saw he had no counterpart
Helper’ means to supply that which an individual cannot provide for himself, aiding someone in need, not being a junior assistant. In the psalms the Lord is described as our helper, the same word is used in Genesis. The woman comes to Adam in his need. It is an honour to be someone’s help.
Suitable means to compliment and correspond. She is to be equal to and be adequate for the man. God created a partner corresponding to him. The difference us not one of worth, ability or intelligence but of role. A complimentary role is life is like in a jigsaw, the pieces lock together to make a harmonious whole.
What is most like half a moon? Not half an orange or half an edam cheese but half a moon. What matches a man, a woman. She matches him in dignity and worth. Companionship is the basic need which woman will fulfil in the life of man. She is also a suitable mate – procreation is an important part, but she was primarily a suitable companion. The Roman Catholic view of marriage is that it is primarily for procreation. This passage denies this. Calvin and Luther deny that celibacy is the most holy state and marriage second best.
Premarital sex is to change a friendship to lover and missing the intermediate stage that changes it to a permanent union.

God made us to be male and female - verses 21 to 23

This is an accurate account of how the woman was made – it expands on chapter one. Man had to come first – he has x and y chromosomes so he could reproduce male and female (if it had been a woman, only women could have been made). God took Eve from Adam’s side, she was a beautiful woman in all her glory. God was the father of the bride, there was no courtship or dating. It was an arranged marriage. God was the first anaesthetist - he put Adam to sleep. When Adam awoke he could see he was like her, but she also differed – see verse 23, he has an immediate reaction, he was saying the first love poem. In Hebrew ‘ish’ means male and ‘isher’ means female, it also means soft and cuddly. It was love at first sight. Adam accepted God’s gift.
Adam, the representative man, had no one to love, to talk to, or embrace, none to help, or give himself to, no one to comfort and no one to produce others kije himself. But God provided. If we are in a married relationship we should be thankful for his provision.
There is a second representative man – Christ our saviour who will not be alone in his kingdom. He will have a people to love and by whom he will be loved – people like himself, to be in fellowship, to serve, to admire him, to share with. A people to reign with.
In Ephesians 5 husbands are told to love their wives as Christ loves the Church and gave himself for her.
Whatever our state in life – single or married – we belong to Christ, we have an everlasting lover who will never fail us or let us down. If we do not have a perfect marriage we do have a perfect redeemer.